I'm a Pumpkin!

Newton Tran

My sister discreetly and frantically splashes orange
paint on my nails, per my request.

​

“I’m a pumpkin!” I jubilantly explain to Father,
whose eyes want to rip off my drying war paint.

​

“It’s just for Halloween,”
My sister reassures him.

​

It is the first Halloween I remember;
Trick-or-treating only begins my desire to dress up.

​

My kindergarten teacher asks,
"Do you approve of your son's tutu?"
As if the pink frills would restrict me
From today's Hokey Pokey
And could lead to nothing
But degenerate behavior.

​

"It's just for theatre,"

I dismiss Father's suspicion
As we buy the cheapest oil base palette
From Ulta, next to the nail shop
He used to work.

​

I sneak the tiniest bit of concealer onto the side of
my nose before I go to school,
I crank down the volume of the man on TV in a
dress,
I slam the lip gloss into my navy blue bag in the
bathroom as soon as I hear Father's car in the drive,
I kick Mother's heels back in her closet.

​

I choose makeup in every next Halloween costume.

​

I am a mime.
I am Captain Hook.
I am a vampire.

​

Tonight, black lines my eyes,
And I am a man, just the same.
But it's not just for Halloween.
It's just for me.